Happiness is... Turning 50

Meeting amazing people

Flight from Delhi to Kolkata was filled with people who were going to attend weddings in and around Kolkata. I was not surprised when I got to know that the two ladies sitting next to me were also going to attend weddings in Kolkata. It was indeed fun to sit next to two very smart and vibrant women, one in her late 30s and the other in her late 50s. I was the quiet listener among three of us. Listening to their conversation, first thing that came in my mind was Thank God, World is still filled with good people! They talked about lifestyles in metropolitan places. Then they talked about how things were so different during their college times. The younger woman talked about her college time, time when she was young and carefree, no responsibilities of running a house, taking care of husband and kids. On this the elder woman said 50s are the best years. The younger woman asked with curiosity How?. She replied...When you are in school you want to go to college, there will be pressure from family and friends to pick the best courses/colleges. When you are in college you want to get a job, you will struggle to get your desired job. When you have a job your family will pressurize you to get married. When you get married your family again will pressurize you to have kids. When you have kids, you have huge responsibilities towards them including their upbringing. So all these years you have responsibilities, you are answerable to people. But when you are in 50s, you are free from all these responsibilities. Your kids are in their own world by themselves. You would be financially strong with savings from so many years of earning. You can do whatever you want, travel wherever you want. You have all the time in the world. She added one more most important point... Just make sure you are healthy and fit during your 50s. If so, 50s are the best years. How true it is! I was so amazed with her thought. No wonder she is from the initial batch of IIT Kharagpur, well settled in US.

Who is carrying whom???

Two Stories

Today morning while having breakfast in office, my colleague told me about an incident which happened with her yesterday. She was in a public transport, a very fat woman was sitting next to her, it was her who gave her space to sit but instead of being thankful, the woman was complaining that she didn't have enough space to sit. My colleague got irritated with her reaction. This incident happened last night but she was still carrying the irritation with her. Her story reminded me of two stories which I shared with her to make her feel good... 

Don't get annoyed with over-sized people just because they consume more space and they are cranky. You don't know what is going through their body and mind. Sorry for using the word "fat", a friend of mine who is very fat went to a nutritionist as she was worried with her weight. She told the doctor in a humorous way... Doctor, I am young and single. But seeing my size, people think that I am a mother of more than one child. Doctor smiled and said... You are great. No one takes these comments so easily and so humorously. More than the size, you should be concerned about your body. Your situation is like a normal girl carrying a full gas cylinder all the time. Let me help you in taking this cylinder out of your body. My friend laughed out loud. But not everyone is like her who is very jolly. 

My second story is on carrying something in our mind for long which my colleague did. It's a story which I heard somewhere, which I liked it so much. There was a group of Buddhist monks who were walking inside a jungle. After walking for some miles they came across a river. There was a girl sitting on the river bank. She was very beautiful with long thick hair, deep blue eyes and flawless skin. But her beautiful face was covered with sadness. She wanted to cross the river, but she was scared to do so thinking that the river must be very deep and she didn't know how to swim. Seeing the monks, she requested the monks... Can one of you please carry me in your arms and help me cross the river?. Monks looked at each other and said... We are monks, we cannot carry a woman in our arms. This is against our principles. But one young monk came out and said... No problem, I will carry you in my arms and drop you to the other side of the river. The young girl was very thankful to this monk. He carried her and dropped her to the other side of the river. All the monks continued to walk towards their destination. After 3 hours, a monk from the group asked this young monk... How could you do that? How could you carry a woman with your arms? We are monks, we are not supposed to do that. The young monk replied... That point of time when the young girl needed our help, I didn't see her as a woman, I saw her as a human being who needed help. I carried a human being who needed help. It's been 3 hours, I carried her and dropped her. But you are the one who has been carrying her in your mind for so long, you are still carrying her. 

Why do I still believe in true love?

True Love

I have come across assholes in life. But I still believe in love. I still believe that true love does exist. Why won't I? I have a real life example in front of my own eyes... A true story of true love... Love story of my mom and dad. My mom was a heart patient even before I was born, even before she was married. Doctor advised her not to get married, not to have a family. It might complicate her case. But my dad was adamant. He told my mom I will marry you, I will do everything possible for you. I am ready to face the consequences but I will never give up on you. My dad is an amazing man, he married my mom despite knowing that the journey was not going to be easy. He kept his promise. He did everything possible for my mom. He spent fortune for her. I still remember an uncle telling me when I was small... No one would do all these what your dad is doing for your mom. It's him that's why it's possible. 

My belief in true love gets firmer seeing this sweet couple. Wife is a blood cancer patient. She looked so beautiful I couldn't believe what I heard. I wished I heard it wrong. She was not just beautiful but was also a very courageous woman, no worry or sadness on her face. Her eyes said She was a fighter. Husband was the weaker half. He told me when she was not around... Hers is not a cure, just suppressing the spread. We have to come every 3 months for treatment. We are in love for more than 15 years. I will not give up. I will do everything possible for her. Before bidding Goodbye, I wanted to tell her Get well soon but I didn't. I was concerned that they might feel bad or sad. But I did pray for her that very moment... God bless you!

Excuse me Doctor!!!

Some doctors are funny

I know I look younger than my age but a doctor who must be of my age or may be a year or two elder to me calling me... Beta (Child)... is something non-digestible. I asked myself Is it the way he addresses his patients and their attendants? Is it because he noticed my step-mom's age and made his own calculation of my age thinking I am her biological daughter. Doesn't matter to me. I am here for her treatment. 

With doctors in my own family, I have immense respect for doctors. Visiting one of the best Government hospitals in India, seeing how these doctors selflessly deal with patients from all types of financial backgrounds, my respect for them has increased. I saw doctors searching for patients when they were not to be seen. They treat each patient equally whether he/she is poor or rich. There is no discrimination. 

The funny doctor attending my Mom greeted my Mom in Manipuri. I said Doctor, you have so many Manipuri patients that you learnt Manipuri language. His answer surprised me... No, I was an army doctor, was posted in Manipur for some years. I was more surprised when he listed the names of the places in Manipur where he was posted. I haven't been to many of the places. While talking to me he noticed my tattoo and asked me What is this?. My tattoo has a theme but it was not a right time and place to tell him about it. So I simply said It's a tattoo. On this he replied That's the problem with you North East people. I was definitely annoyed with that remark but I had to control myself, after all he was my mom's doctor. I politely said Excuse me doctor... You have a wrong perception about us. I didn't want to tell anything beyond that. By then my respect for him had reduced to half. 

He and another doctor checked my Mom's MRI films. The other doctor asked me if I can get the CD of the films. On this my Mom's doctor said How can she? MRI was done in Delhi. He was amazed when I said I will ask. I will try to get it. He asked me Whom you will ask? On this I replied MRI was done by my friend who is a radiologist. Before I could complete he asked me impatiently You are a doctor?. On this I quickly replied My friend is a doctor, I am not. He looked wondered. May be he was thinking I was not someone he could address Beta. While leaving the hospital, he surprised me again by saying... I don't have any negative thing for North East people. In fact I like them. In fact all my best friends are from North East. I smiled and said Good to know that doctor.

Mumma… I know whom I will marry

I love you Mumma

Zoe is Liz’s sweetheart, her only child. 4 years old Zoe is very smart, smarter than her age. Living in a foreign country far away from family and friends, they are not just mother-daughter but best friends. They will go together for shopping, eating, movies, even to beauty parlors. Zoe is just 4 but knows many things which a 4 years old girl does not know. She knows being a girl she will marry someone someday. One day she told her mom Mumma, when I grow up and become a big girl, I will marry you. Liz asked her why. She said Because I love you the most. I don’t want to go to some other house after marriage. We will stay married happily ever after. Liz said Ökie baby, as you say. It was only after they came to India to attend multiple wedding functions, Zoe realized she was wrong. In every wedding function they attended, Zoe had so many questions for her mom, dad, grand-parents and relatives. They were back from India after attending all fun-filled yet hectic wedding functions and rituals. After reaching home, Zoe told her mom Mumma… I am sorry but I can’t marry you. I love you soooo much but still I can’t marry you. Liz asked her why. Zoe said Mumma because you are a girl. A girl can’t marry a girl. A girl has to marry a boy. So I can’t marry you. But you don’t worry Mumma, I won’t leave you. I know whom I will marry. I will marry Pa (father) and we will still live happily ever after.

Not an Ordinary Love Triangle

Love Triangle

Love triangles normally happen in movies. In real life I have come across one where two of my closed friends were in love with the same guy. Interestingly the guy was also in love with both the girls. Let me not get into the details, instead, let me focus on this true story of non-ordinary love triangle. This is about two girls who work in a beauty parlour. Believe it or not I don't go to beauty parlour, so obviously, this is not something I have experienced myself. But I find the story quite interesting, couldn't stop myself from writing about this. 
 
Two of my friends go to the same beauty parlour together. Everytime they are attended by two girls Anju and Manju (names changed). Anju and Manju are very good at their jobs, my friends are happy regular customers. Last time when they went to the parlour Anju who was attending my first friend was looking very gloomy and lost. My friend was concerned and asked her What happened Anju? You look lost and sad. She replied Didi (sister) This is what happened when you are heart broken and you are not able to sleep the entire night. My friend had gone through the same phase and could understand the pain she was going through. Being more concerned she asked What went wrong?. Anju replied with tears rolling from her big eyes... There is another person. My love has found another love. Hearing this my friend got furious and told Anju to move on, there was no point of shedding tears for a cheater, a loser who had already moved on. Anju replied...  It is not easy didi. We have been together for so long. We work at the same place, we get to meet each other everyday. Also we stay very nearby. On this my friend said Quit your job, look for a new one. Leave the place. Move to a different place or city. Anju said in agony Mine is a true love. I fought with my parents, I fought with my relatives, I fought with the world... just for her and now she is saying there is a guy in her life. My friend quite astonishingly asked... Her? You are in love with a girl? I mean you were in a relationship with a girl? And now there is a man in her life?. Anju nodded her head Yes. Quite curiously my friend asked her Who is she?. She pointed her finger to Manju. Manju indeed looked moved on.